Conversations with ego

cat voices

Mike: That's it! I've had it with you! I want nothing more to do with your sheit!

ego: Gosh, Mike, what could be the problem?

Mike: You know darn well what the problem is! Every time I write a post, you tell me "this is it! this is the one that's gonna trip out the entire world and everybody will think you're a genius." You get me all friggin' hyped up, only to realize that nobody reads it. Nobody's interested. It's a flop!

I'm sick and tired of this roller coaster ride you've been takin' me on my whole damn life. My whole life you have consistently jacked me up, only to crash every time. I can't be happy listenin' to you and doing what you say.

So, from now on, we're through. I'm done with you! From now on you need to stay out of my life!

ego: But, Mike, I can't stay out of your life....I'm you.

Mike: Whaaa!?.....well...I guess that's true. But it doesn't matter... because I'm on a spiritual path to enlightenment. Ya know what that means, don't ya? It means your done. Finished! Because once I awaken to enlightenment your gone, dude. Your days are numbered. That's what "enlightenment" means... NO MORE EGO! No more you.

ego: That's fine, but if your going on a spiritual path to enlightenment, then, unfortunately, I'm gonna have to come with you. At least until you get where you're going. You do understand that, right?

Mike: Well...fine! I suppose you do have to tag along, at least until I get my enlightenment. But just stay outa my way, you hear! I can't have you buttin' in while I'm trying to become an enlightened master. This is a spiritual path I'm on, not an ego trip!

ego: OK. But since I have to be here... maybe I can help?

Mike: Help? You've been no help so far, so I can't see what you could do to help me get enlightened. How could you possibly help?

ego: Well, I could help you find the right books to read, the right groups to join and I could even assist in finding the best guru. I could even help you schedule your spiritual practices around the rest of your life and remind you when you're thinking too much and not meditating correctly.

You got to admit, we have learned a lot along the way and it seems a shame to trash it all now. Besides, you still need me to do other things like make money, get sex, justify your anger when others piss you off, make it seem like your intelligent when you're not, show you what to get serious about and what to ignore...

You've got to admit that I have helped you many times in negotiating that cold, cruel world out there. In fact, who would you be without me? Who would protect you?

Admit it...you know you love me.

Mike: Well...ok... I guess you can help sometimes. But I'll let you know when I need your help so don't be buttin' in when I don't need you.

ego: Ok, you got it, buddy! from now on I'll only take direction from you. Otherwise, I'll be as quiet as a mouse. Oh, this spiritual path to enlightenment will be such fun!